Dismal Angel Episode 15: Debris Road
by AngelExposed
Summary: Bella Donna is pregnant, living in the Mansion and it's driving Rogue insane - and Remy. Remy wants to be with Rogue, but Rogue tells him she's over him and goes off in search of a good time, and ends up being hurt in the process (FINISHED r&r).
1. Chapter 1: Baby Blues

Chapter 1: Baby Blues

             Rogue tried to focus on her homework, typing the words in and constantly making typos accidentally, distraction lying with the pregnant woman sitting on the chair flicking through TV stations, a bowl of tortilla chips balanced on her belly.  

             These last four months – since Bella Donna had moved into Mansion - had been hellish.  No, worse than hellish.  Torturous was more likely the correct description.

             It had been so long since anything had seemed normal in the mansion, and Rogue had never been able to really relax in the Mansion when Bella Donna was around – which was all the time.  Still, thankfully dealing with Remy, right now, was at a minimal.  He spent most – if not all – of his free time doing chores and working out in the danger room.  In fact, as far as Rogue knew, Remy and Bella Donna barely spoke to each other either, despite they were to have a child together.  That fact was about the only thing keeping Rogue midway sane at the moment.

             It seemed hard to believe that the woman who had arranged Rogue's kidnapping – and Remy's – was now sitting on the recliner with junk food, eating to her hearts content, living like royalty.  Pregnant by Remy.  Weren't people as bad as Bella Donna meant to be suffering for all their misdeeds?  Rogue wished so.

             From the moment she'd fallen in love with Remy she'd had visions of being married to him when they were in their late twenties, and having a child.  She was meant to have his children, not his ex girlfriend/fiancée.  Those dreams, daydreams and wishes, the things that kept her going through the day, had been farfetched even before Bella Donna had arrived – the powers Rogue possessed killed any chance of a normal relationship, and there was no guarantee in another eleven years she'd even have control of her powers.  Now with Bella Donna pregnant, her dreams of a happy life seemed crushed completely, ten times more impossible than they had been.

             There wasn't a day that went by that Rogue had wished this pregnancy had been some sort of false alarm.  But when Bella Donna's stomach had begun to quickly grow, and her breasts swell, Rogue had realised that this pregnancy was real – as real as was the tension in the mansion since since Bella Donna had moved in.

             Bella Donna always acted like nothing had happened six months earlier, even though the result of the kidnapping she'd instructed had been the baby growing inside of her.  And now they all had to live in harmony – or something remotely resembling it.

Lately, in an almost annoying way, Bella Donna would be almost pleasant to Rogue – which Rogue, quite rightly ignored.  Rogue reckoned it was only because she'd dumped Remy - four months ago when Bella Donna had shown up, pregnant, vulnerable and in tears, with plans of abortion – that Bella Donna was even being distinctly nice to her.  

Rogue had decided she could never be with Remy after this, and that left room for Bella Donna and Remy to play happy families.   

Rogue cursed both of them and their child.

             Rogue couldn't stand being in the room with Bella Donna – the woman who had torn her man away from her – and she quickly saved her homework on Microsoft Word, then logged off of the computer, leaving the room clutching a book in one hand and a half empty can of diet Lemon Coke in the other.

             Unfortunately, she hadn't been paying attention, running head on into Remy LeBeau, who had just come down the stairs.  Both having been not paying attention to where they'd been going.

             Rogue bounced off of him, and fell on her backside, the can flying out of her hand and onto the tiled floor, spilling out and running between the gaps in the tiles like a maze of soda.  "Fuck…" she muttered.

             Remy almost fell back also, but steadied himself quickly, "Sorry," Remy put his hands in defence, "sorry…"

             "You should be," Rogue muttered, pulling herself up.

             Remy looked at her.  She was beautiful when she was in a bad mood, it was when she was at her most desirable and when she seemed the most unattainable woman he could have…that was what attracted him even more to her.  Despite he was already more than madly in love with her.  He was a little hurt by her harsh attitude towards him, she'd been this way with him since Bella Donna had moved in.  It was one of the reasons Remy found himself avoiding her more and more each day.

"Don't worry, I'll clean it up," Remy assured in a very responsible tone.

             "Fine," Rogue threw a dirty look at him, then headed upstairs.  Leaving him there with the soda to clean up, and a feeling of heartache.

             Remy mopped up the soda wearily, he was tired, more tired than he'd ever been, it seemed the best way to avoid the woman he'd made pregnant – Bella Donna – and the woman he loved – Marie D'Ancanto, his Rogue.  Life seemed so cruel to him, no matter how much he tried to atone for the wrong things he'd done, everything came into play to hurt him in ways he could have never expected.

             Secretly, the thought of being a father in the next three months terrified him – Rogue had been right, he was in no fit state to be a father, he barely had enough responsibility to take care of himself – he had the feeling he was going to be a very useless, irresponsible and terrible father to the child. 

             The thought depressed him even more.

             Remy glanced  to the door of the recreation room as Bella Donna came out, one hand over her grown belly.  Her hair was in two braids at each side of her face, her bangs slightly covering her ocean coloured eyes.  Looking at Bella Donna it seemed almost logical that he should be in love with her, she was beautiful, adventurous – and carrying his child. 

             But as he tried to find it in himself to love Bella Donna, he could think only of Rogue.  And Rogue was more impossible to get due to this mistake he'd made of sleeping with Bella Donna in the first place.  She'd never forgiven him – and now, there was no chance she ever would.

             "You still on chore duty?" Bella Donna looked at Remy.

             Remy gave a nonchalant shrug, "I'm always on duty, told you, odd job man's work is never done around here," he shrugged, and even when it is, there's so much catching up to do with danger room training…" he added.

             Bella Donna looked at him suspiciously, "you work too much," she stated firmly.

             Remy gave a shrug and put the mop into the bucket and wrung it out, the placed it back into the pool of soda on the floor.  "It keeps me occupied…you know me, I never was one for lazing around much," he shrugged.

             Bella Donna looked at him, "I think Rogue's reaching the end of her tether with me," she stated.

             "She's irritable, she gets that way sometimes," Remy shrugged.

             "I don't get it, Remy…why her?" Bella Donna asked.  "What do you see in her?  She's nothin' special."

             Remy sighed, "I can't explain it…" he drew his breath.  "I'm in love…and that's it."

             Bella Donna sighed, "I hate being pregnant," she kicked the bucket stubbornly, it splashed water over the floor a little, Remy gave a frown at her, "I'm sick of being large, my clothes barely fit, not to mention all the other little ailments…"

             Remy sighed, "three months more and you'll be free from it," he reminded, "You can go back to the Big Easy, pretend like there is no child…and I'll remain daddy, and tell it you died in childbirth."

             "Fine by me," Bella Donna muttered, and headed upstairs.

             Remy frowned, what was it with these women and their bad moods with him?  Alright, he realised he had some responsibility in their attitudes towards him, but it wasn't like it was only his fault, Bella Donna also had blame, and Rogue?  Rogue was just too lazy to even try and work it out this time around.  He decided he'd be better off if he stayed away from both women.

             But staying away from Rogue might be harder than he'd thought.

             Rogue glanced from the window of her bedroom, Remy LeBeau was trimming the hedges out front, the June heat blazing on his tan skin, body shining with perspiration.  He looked wonderfully delicious – and Rogue hated that.  It was hard realising how appealing he is when she couldn't have him.

             Your own fault, she told herself sternly, she sighed, watching the flex of his biceps as he used the large sheers on the hedge not so far away.

             "Will you stop staring at people, its creepy," Kitty Pryde was sitting on her own bed with her laptop, playing solitaire.

             "Sorry," Rogue blushed, she pulled her knees up to her chest and hugged her legs, she was sat on the windowsill, gazing out.

             Kurt Wagner entered the room, he and Kitty had been spending more and more time together, they – unlike Rogue and Remy – got along brilliantly and rarely ever fought with each other.  Rogue wasn't sure if there was a romantic relationship there or not, sometimes it would seem so, and other times, not so much.

             "Bella Donna is driving me mad…" Kurt threw up his hands, "she ate ALL the potato chips!! All the candy and drank the last can of Diet Lemon Coke!" 

             "Actually I drank that," Rogue remarked, she looked out of the window again, "Just put up with it for three more months, she'll be out of here, we can kick her out on her fat lazy ass."

             "Why are we even putting up with her?  She's not a mutant…she's Gambit's problem, not ours, why don't they just get an apartment together already?" Kurt muttered.

             Rogue shrugged, "He says he doesn't love her, doesn't want to be with her," Rogue picked at a loose thread from her right hand glove.

             "Funny way of showing it, having her live here, wanting her to have the baby," Kurt said.

             Rogue loved Kurt right at that moment, never had she loved him as her brother more than then, it felt as if finally someone was on her wave length.

             Kurt had been picky towards Bella Donna and Remy lately, Kurt would find ways to make things difficult for Remy – making it impossible for Remy to come in on conversations, and ignoring him if he tried to.  The man had hurt Rogue – who despite no physical blood relationship – he had family ties, and they would consider themselves brother and sister occasionally.  "I'd beat the shit out of him."

             "Yeah, sure you would," Kitty responded, "He's a foot and two inches taller than you, and he can blow up anything he wants…the most you could do is bamf in his face," Kitty stuck her tongue out.

             Rogue looked out of the window.

             "You are NOT still lusting after him, are you?" Kurt folded his arms stubbornly.

             "What else can I do, I can't just switch off how I feel about him," Rogue sighed, "god knows I've tried," she looked down to the floor sheepishly.

             Kitty sighed, "you got it bad."

             Rogue chewed her lip and blinked back tears, "we were so happy…"


	2. Chapter 2: Not Hungry

Chapter 2: Not Hungry

             Rogue sat down at the dinner table, keeping her distance from Bella Donna who was sitting at one end of the table completely.  Sitting where she was meant being in between Jamie – who not always but sometimes she could find annoying – and Amara, who she definitely did find annoying even at the best of times.

             Rogue noted, for the fourth time that week, Remy was not present at dinner.  She didn't say anything, she kept her thoughts to herself and spooned herself a tiny dollop of mashed potatoes, and tried to tune out of the excited chatter around her of all the kids.

             "Where's Remy?" Hank asked, looking around, then directly at Rogue, as if she were the only person in the mansion who should have even known where he was.

             "I don't know," Rogue gave a nonchalant shrug.

             "He hasn't been at dinner four nights in a row," Ray remarked, munching on mouthful of cabbage, "he's probably up in his room."

             "It's tragic," Amara stated firmly, "He never spends time with us, he's so anti-social."

             "Will someone go get him, please?" Professor Xavier asked.

             "I'll do it," Bella Donna stood.

             Rogue didn't know why she shot up, "I'll do it, sit back down," she warned Bella Donna.  Suddenly she felt as if Bella Donna were the enemy once again, trying to steal her man – and the fact was she wasn't even with Remy.

             Everyone looked at Rogue with a surprise at the harshness of her tone.

             "You're pregnant, you shouldn't have to go up all those stairs," Rogue quickly added, feigning a smile with clenched teeth, then she rushed off without another word.

             She had to admit, Remy was the last person she needed to see right now.  But the thought of Bella Donna in Remy's room – in a pregnant condition or no pregnant condition – didn't sit easy with her.  She walked slowly up the stairs, taking her time, and along the boys dorm hallway, to where Remy's door was.   She knocked.  "Remy?" she tried the handle, it was locked. 

             She felt a little shunned by that, he'd never locked her out of his room before, why now?  But then she realised it didn't necessarily mean he'd locked her out, maybe perhaps someone else he'd locked out.

             The door open, Remy stood there, he was topless, and slightly muddy, "what?" he asked, his voice more tired than aggravated. 

             "Professor Xavier wants you downstairs for dinner," Rogue leaned against the wall outside the door.

             "I'm not hungry…" Remy remarked, he walked away from the door, leaving it open, heading over to the bed, he threw himself down, "why didn't he come up himself?"

             "He's in a wheelchair for Christ sake," Rogue stepped in, examining the mess of Remy's room, it usually was in pretty good order, but lately, he hadn't been taking care of it – or himself.  He looked as if he hadn't shaved for three days, or combed his long brown hair.  "Nice to see you're keeping things clean…" Rogue picked up a few pairs of jeans from the floor, they were muddy and stained with oil and a number of other things.  "Haven't you done any laundry this week?"

             "Been too busy," he shrugged, he looked up at the ceiling.

             Rogue picked up a few dirty t-shirts from the floor, draping them over her arm, "you haven't been down to dinner in four days…"

             "I'll eat when I'm ready," Remy sighed, he closed his eyes, seemingly intent on sleep.

             Rogue sighed and picked up some dirty socks and underwear from the floor, he certainly had been ignoring his own personal hygiene lately by the looks of it, she made a face, she didn't say anything else, instead, she left the room, and went downstairs, carrying a pile of his dirty clothes.  She didn't go back to the kitchen, she headed into the laundry room and tossed the clothes in a washing machine, pouring in detergent.  

             "What are you doing…" Kitty's voice came from her back, at the doorway.

             Rogue turned, "doing his laundry…you should see the mess of his bedroom, he's such a pig," she closed the washer, and turned it on.

             "You're doing his laundry?  Rogue, you are obsessed…" Kitty rolled her eyes, "let him do his own laundry – he's a grown man."

             Rogue sighed, "I know…but…I don't know…okay, I don't know…I didn't even think about what I was doing until…you asked me," she frowned a little looking to the washer, as if to ask herself if she'd even done such a thing.  "But just because I'm doing his laundry doesn't mean anything, alright?  I am SO over him."

             Kitty sighed, "are you going back to dinner?  Professor Xavier sent me to look for you…"

             "No, I'm not hungry."

             Remy had drifted off when Rogue had come into his room, he'd been so tired, barely been able to keep his eyes open, and when he woke up, he was in the room alone – although things looked certainly tidier than when he'd fallen asleep.  He sat up, rubbing his head in confusion.  Rogue sauntered in with his laundry – cleaned, dried, folded, smelling meadow fresh.  He looked at her with much perplexity in his dark eyes.

             "You fell asleep," Rogue answered simply, she walked over to the dresser near the window and she stood wondering what drawer she should open to put the laundry into.  She took a long think, weren't top drawers where guys usually put personal things – condoms, porno, and other such things?  It was this reason she opened the second drawer, and put away his clothes.

             "What are you doing."

             "Sorting out your shit," Rogue commented, "You're a mess, Remy.  Stop focussing on working in the mansion and start focussing on your own stuff," she glanced over his shoulder.

             Remy looked at her, there was a silence around them, the tension so thick he felt he could cut it with a knife.  Finally he sighed, "I miss you…"

             Rogue turned and looked at him, "don't tell me stuff like that, I don't want to hear it," Rogue headed for the door, she stopped in the open doorway, placing her hand on the threshold, standing still for a moment.  "I can be your friend, Remy, I can be your team-mate.  God, I can even be the stupid girl who just does your laundry cos she's sick of seeing your mess…but I can't be the girl you used to love…"

             "Used to?" Remy asked, "I still do…never stopped lovin' you…"

             "I don't want to hear that," Rogue groaned and turned towards him, "I want to get through the day believing that things are okay…" she sighed.

             "They can be…c'mon…" Remy stood up and walked over to her, he leaned on the other side of the threshold looking at her, "we're beyond all hope yet," he murmured.

             Rogue gave a sigh, and she looked away.

             "These three months have been hellish…all I do is avoid you because every time I see you I can't help but want to tell you I love you…" he brushed her hair away from her face without touching her cheek.

             Rogue moved away, "don't…I can't deal with you near me…y'know, when I had visions of me and you spending our futures together it didn't involve bringing up Bella Donna's child together," she looked at him, "if you want that baby so much, then you have to deal with the fact me and you cannot be together – because children need attention, Remy…and I'm not going to be second priority."

             Remy turned, "How much do you love me?"

             "I don't think I love you enough to be with you with a child that isn't mine…" Rogue looked at him, "My plans don't involve babies at age seventeen…I'm going to be seventeen next month, Remy.  SEVENTEEN.  Not twenty seven!"

             Remy sat down on the floor.

             "Why couldn't you have just let her have an abortion…?" Rogue asked.

             Remy closed his eyes, "Because it was the easy way out and I would have lived with guilt for the rest of my life…"

             Rogue sighed, "I love you, Remy…but I can't…love you…" She looked at him sternly, "Not like I did."

             Remy chewed his lip, "You don't mean that."

             "Yes, I do…I'm over you," Rogue said firmly, "Face it, we will NEVER be together…so do whatever you want to do and leave me to get on with my life…" and with that, shut the door to Remy's room, and stood out in the hall, and forced not to cry.  She was definitely NOT over Remy LeBeau.


	3. Chapter 3: Returning to Asylum

Chapter 3: Returning to Asylum

             After leaving Remy's room, Rogue headed upstairs into her own room, and sat on her bed, she didn't cry but she wanted to – just to get it out.  She searched through her drawer in the bedside cabinet, taking the small bottle of light blue liquid out, and looking at it.  She didn't want its temptation there any longer, reminding her of all the plans she'd made to be with Remy and now would never have them, what was it worth being there for?  

             She thought of a million ways to dispose of it, but the best way she felt was to take it, for if it was some poison concocted by Bella Donna – a bottle of bogus serum – then it wouldn't matter.  She had been through the pain of overdose already, nothing could have been worse, she felt more prepared than she ever had.

             Rogue yanked the cap off and tilted her head back down her throat, and prepared herself for the taste as she spilled it into her open mouth.

             It tasted distinctly like nail-polish remover.  Not that Rogue had ever been in the habit of drinking nail-polish remover, but once she'd bit her fingernail after having used some and the taste had been most unpleasant – this reminded her of that taste.  

             She empted the bottle completely and swallowed it, and tossed the empty bottle away, she swallowed and made a face, she lay back on her bed, and waited for the effects – whatever they might be.  And when no effects came, she felt disappointed that it had not been death.  Life had become one meaningless dreary existence from one day to the next, she could have thought of a thousand ways to do herself in – and the X-Men would always find a way to intervene.  Even bathroom doors had been altered – locks removed.  No painkillers, no chance of overdose, only electric shavers for the girls who liked to shave their legs, no razors to slash skin.  Rogue sighed and got up, she pulled the window open, and climbed out, taking to the air, graceful, almost bird like, arms stretched, legs together, she soared.  

             There was only one place to go on a Friday night – and that was Asylum.  A dark gothic-punk nightclub where she had been several times before, a couple of times with Kitty and Remy, and she was dressed in her usual gothic attire, enough to make her blend in with everyone else.

             The flight there was strenuous, her own body weight seemingly trying to pull her down, and she realised the serum seemed genuine, and that it looked like she was losing her powers.  

             She hadn't ever taken it of her own accord, and now she realised that she'd never felt her powers leave her before, it felt strange, almost as if her powers were doing the opposite of what they did to others – to absorb other peoples power – for now it felt as if her powers were being absorbed out of her.  She couldn't explain the draining sensation she felt, all she knew was she felt it.  

             Rogue arrived at Asylum just in time as her power of flight would barely hold her anymore, she landed with a rough thud on the roof, the lock on the hatch on the roof had never been repaired since the last time she'd been there – as if the owners of the club had never even notice it had been tampered with.  She pulled the hatch open, glanced in, the coast was clear. 

             She slipped in.

             The club was a mass of dancing bodies dressed in black, donning leather, swathed in mesh, velvet and lace, their hair a sea of colours from the balcony she looked on from.  She headed down a small staircase, and headed to the bar, buying herself a drink, she stood against a wall, watching as the patrons danced.

             She'd always felt drawn to the place, mainly because the people all looked like her – like misfits, but beautiful and interesting in their own unique ways.

             "Hi."

             Rogue turned, a familiar – yet somehow unfamiliar – face staring at her.  He had long brown wavy hair, and very intense light blue eyes.  She knew him, but she couldn't think from where.  "Hi…do I know you?" she asked.

             "Maybe you'd remember me if I was dressed as a pirate?"

             Rogue thought back, that had been right, Halloween, in this very spot, she'd seen him, him and a friend had been talking about the very drug she had taken tonight to suppress her powers, he'd been dressed as a pirate, and had seemed almost attracted to her – at least his expression had seemed to say so.

             "Oh…now I remember," Rogue blushed, "I'm sorry about that night, I was just in a bad mood," feigned a smile, she remembered having the guy by the throat.

             "It's fine," he smiled a little with his full pink lips, "So…I've seen you here a few times, you come here a lot?"

             "Sometimes," Rogue sipped on her drink, "You?"

             "Sometimes," he shrugged, "You usually come here with a guy, don't you?  Or another girl…boyfriend?  Girlfriend?  Or both?"

             "The guy…he was my boyfriend, or some kind of 'friend', we never got to the romantic stuff much so I guess its hard to know what I could have called him, the girl is my best friend," Rogue shrugged.  

             "They're…not like you…" the guy with long hair said.

             "They are, in their own ways," Rogue gave a shrug, she wasn't sure if the guy meant they didn't look like Goths – or they didn't look like mutants.  

             "You look down.  You look like you need some serious cheerin' up," he said, he reached to her empty glass, "let me get you another drink…whats your poison?"

             "Vodka…straight…" Rogue smiled a little, and with that, she watched him leave to get her drink.  The night might be interesting yet.

             Remy knocked on the door of Rogue's room, he was hoping to speak with her, he had a lot on his mind, he had a decision, a decision that might benefit them both – and only on her say so would he go through with it.  But first he needed to see her, just to confirm what her thoughts were.  She'd told him how she felt but he was sure that might not be her real feelings.  She always had a way of hiding her real feelings.  He believed she was very much in love with him still – but if she wasn't…

             If she wasn't, then he had an answer to both their problems.

             The door swung open, Kitty Pryde standing in her pyjamas – it was, after all, eleven pm. 

             "Rogue here?" Remy asked, peering past Kitty, looking hopeful.

             "Why don't you just leave her alone, alright?" Kitty folded her arms.

             "I didn't ask you my thoughts on my relationship with her, I asked you if she's here," Remy retorted angrily.

             "No, she's not," Kitty said, "I actually thought she'd be with you – god knows why, she's so over you," Kitty stated, "she even told me that, and I'm her best friend…she wouldn't lie to me," Kitty stated.

             "Kitty, just stop talking out of your ass, okay…" Remy sighed.  "Will you tell her I want to see her when you see her?"

             "If I see her," Kitty remarked, and closed the door.

             Remy sighed, and muttered "Women," under his breath.

             Rogue felt strange, and she couldn't figure out why, at first she thought it might be the serum, but she'd had it before, and even in the larger dose she'd taken, surely it wouldn't have made her feel this bad?

             She felt strangely unsteady, her vision doubling, everything seemed unreal, running fast, and then slow, as if she were watching a DVD on fast forward or slow motion.  Voices and music blurred together, becoming a mash of sound she couldn't understand anymore.  

             "Are you alright?" she could make out one voice, the voice of the guy with the long brown hair, and the incredible blue eyes, those beautiful blue eyes, so intense and sympathetic to her.

             "I feel weird…" Rogue stumbled, she tried to walk away, trying to get her bearings, everything felt so confusing, she could barely remember where she was.  "I think I'm going to be sick…" she dry heaved.

             "Here, let me take you to the bathroom…"

             Rogue felt him grab onto her, and support her, and he led her down a separate hallway, she'd been there enough to know that she wasn't in the right place, she'd been to the bathrooms, they were down another hallway, weren't they?  
             "Where are we going?" she asked, she staggered, and almost tripped.

             He caught her, "its alright, I'll take care of you…"

             "No…don't…" Rogue she pulled away from him, "I can take care of myself…" she swallowed, everything becoming more and more hazy, she fell, landing on the carpet.

             She didn't feel any pain when her head hit the floor, she was barely conscious by then.

             Remy LeBeau stood outside at the front porch, smoking a cigarette, "where is she?" he demanded of himself, he was the only one there, he glanced at his watch, it was two am, and she hadn't returned home.  Home?  Home from where, he wondered, where could she have gone?

             He sighed, he wasn't going to wait any longer.  He headed inside, sighing, and his heart breaking.


	4. Chapter 4: Realisations

Chapter 4: Realisation

             Everything was hazy, and dark, and all she could feel was pain, a body pressed against her, a hand against her mouth, she tried to bite, but even the strength to do so seemed impossible, she barely had enough strength to fight.  

             Breathing was a challenge, and trying to open her eyes against the crude bright lighting above seemed unbearable, she couldn't see what was happening, but she could feel it – oh, she could feel it.

             And she struggled, squirming, trying to break free, and only being pushed down harder, her arms pinned by one hand, the other hand on her face almost suffocating her, as the man on top of her pushed himself harder into her, moaning and grunting.

             Rogue could barely conceive of her situation, all she knew was she had to get away, but her mind kept blacking out, and everything was blurry and off balance, the world swirling around her, her body betraying her.  

             She tried to fight harder, reminding herself she had the power to hurt anyone she wanted with her mutant powers, she could barely remember her powers were gone thanks to the serum she'd taken.

             "Stop it!" she heard the guy cry at her, it was that same voice of the guy with the long hair and incredible blue eyes.  Rogue felt a hard smack across her face, so hard she saw bright lights flashing in front of her eyes and the intensity of the pain felt as if her face had been hit by a truck.

             Another black out, this time, she knew it must have been longer than the others, for when she finally came out of the blackness, she was alone, there was no pressing of another body against her, just a strange coldness against her naked backside, her shirt pushed up to her shoulders.  She pulled herself up, trembling, panicking, eyeliner streaked down her face with tears.  

             She was, what looked like, a large janitors closet, the walls lined with shelves of bleach, detergent, clothes and furniture polish.  She pulled her shirt down, still shaking, and pulled herself up, her legs gave way under her, and she broke into tears.

             How could she have been so stupid.

             There was an X-Men training session early at 6 am the next morning, only the main older members of the team – excluding the newer mutants.  Kitty was the first to arrive, and then was Remy.  

             When Remy arrived, Kitty was waiting out in the hallway outside the danger room, waiting to be let in, the Professor apparently still programming the session in the control annex.

             Kitty looked tired, as if she hadn't slept, she noted with as much surprise, Remy looked the same way.

             Remy wandered up to her, "you look like shit," he commented, he was pulling his hair into a ponytail, then pulled on his black headgear, adjusting it so it fit properly.

             Kitty was silent for a moment, "Gambit, she didn't come home…"

             Remy looked at Kitty, "she didn't…come home…what do you mean?!  Didn't you tell the Professor?"

             "No…I don't want to get her into more trouble," Kitty clenched her teeth together, "You know how paranoid professor X is lately," Kitty rolled her eyes.

             Remy sighed, "we should be out looking for her…"

             Kitty was about to say something when the sounds of alarms began to go off, "sounds like someone's trespassing…c'mon," she yanked on the sleeve of Remy's black trenchcoat.

             They headed up into the elevator, and up to the first floor, rushing out of the front doors, at first, not sure what they were looking for.

             And then, they saw her, Rogue, walking slowly up the driveway, staggering, her walk strange, almost pained, even from so far away, Kitty and Remy could both tell Rogue's make up was smeared, and that something had happened.

             Remy was about to rush to Rogue, but Kitty stopped him, "No!".

             "But—"

             "Don't, okay, just go inside…I'll talk to her…"

             Remy sighed, but gave in, Kitty had rights, she was Rogue's best friend, and he was nothing more to Rogue than a thorn in her side.

             Kitty rushed to Rogue.  Rogue was shaking, her face pale, her mouth trembling, her make up streaked down her face, lipstick smeared across her face, her shirt slightly torn, her tights ripped.

             "Rogue…jesus, where've you been…"

             Rogue looked right past Kitty, to Remy, who was standing at the porch, looking concerned.

             "Make him go away…" Rogue pleaded, tears forming in her eyes, "Please…make him go away…"

             Kitty yelled, "Gambit, go inside!"

             Remy didn't, instead, he approached, "what happened?" he demanded of Rogue, he put a hand on her arm but she flinched away.

             "Stay the fuck away from me!" she screamed, "just leave me alone…" she headed up the driveway towards the mansion, her walk still strange.

             "Will you just get out of her life already?!" Kitty demanded.

             "I will!  Just as soon as I tell her I am!" Remy hissed, he headed up the driveway, "Rogue…I have something I need to say," he stopped her by tugging on her wrist, and pulling her back.

             Rogue broke away, she punched his arm, but her strength seemed barely nothing compared to the force she'd always used before.

             Remy looked at her with confusion, wondering what he'd done, did she already know of his plans?  "Rogue…I'm leaving, I'm going back to New Orleans…" he said, "I'm gonna marry Bella Donna…" he looked at her.

             Rogue's eyes were already streaming with tears, fury, and self loathing, shaken up by what she'd been through, Remy's plans sunk into her as suddenly as did the realisation of what had happened to her in the night club.  "I've been raped…" she whispered.

             It took Kitty nearly two hours to calm Rogue down after she'd said it, the girl had broke down into tears, and had refused to move, she lay on the driveway, her tears staining the asphalt.  She wouldn't let Remy touch her.  Kitty was just as shocked as was Remy.  

             Kitty took Rogue to the bathroom, cleaned her face, dried her tears, and talked soothingly to her for what seemed like forever.  

             The tears didn't seem like they were going to stop.

             "You gotta talk to Professor Xavier about this," Kitty said finally, she tossed another tear drenched tissue down the toilet, and flushed.

             "Mo…" Rogue sobbed, "I can't…I can't…" she was hunched up, sitting on the counter of the first floor bathroom, still in tears.  Everything had come as a shock, first the rape, then finding out about Remy's plans to marry Bella Donna.  Her heart had finally broken to the extent she felt it would never be repaired.

             Kitty sighed, "I don't understand how…" she said, "I mean…how could someone touch you…" she asked.

             Rogue looked at Kitty through glassy teary eyes, "because I drained my powers away…"

             Remy sat on the edge of his bed in the bedroom, he glanced across the room, looking into the mirror on the dresser, seeing his own reflection.  How could he have let this happen?  Everything.  Again, he found himself feeling guilty, wondering if Rogue's rape had anything to do with himself.  It was obvious she'd taken the serum, there was no other way she could have been touched.  

             He'd driven her to take it, he realised, he'd broken her will somehow, wounded her soul.  Yet, he still couldn't piece together why she'd been raped – or who had done such a thing.  The only thing he could think about was getting a hold of the bastard who'd done it and cutting him up until he wasn't recognisable anymore.  Maybe murdering him – he would have gone that far for Rogue, he'd go further for her than he would for anyone else.

             That's why he'd asked Bella Donna to marry him, because he knew if he could get out of Bayville, and go where Rogue would never see him again, she'd heal.  But now, he was wondering how he could pull himself to leave after what had happened.  He wondered if she needed him.  She hadn't seemed to.  In fact, she looked as if she'd kill him if he even tried to touch her as even just a comforting gesture.  

             He felt cold all over, the thought of her being hurt in the way she had been, her innocence taking by someone who didn't even love her, and against her will.  It brought tears to his own eyes, and in the seclusion of his bedroom, he cried for her.  


	5. Chapter 5: Debris Road

Chapter 5: Debris Road

             Rogue sighed, staring into space at her bedroom wall, she was lying on her bed, Kitty sitting there, it was five hours later, and Rogue was still unable to speak about it to Kitty – despite she knew Kitty was the only person in the world she really could trust.

             Kitty wished Rogue would just tell her what had happened instead of bottling it all up, instead, she stayed by Rogue as any friend would do.

             "I can't believe he's going to marry her…" Rogue said, her eyes still unfocused on anything, her lips dry and chapped.

             Kitty sighed, "You shouldn't worry about it…you do this to yourself all the time, Rogue.  You keep going back down debris road…"

             Rogue sat up slowly, "Hmm?" She asked.

             "Debris Road, I don't know, it was a song I used to like a few years back…debris road, is kind of like…I don't know, a road where you keep going back on your past, and seeing all the damage it caused you, and you keep reliving it cos you can't come to term with it," Kitty shrugged.  "But you should just try and move forward now…" Kitty sighed.  "Move on from Remy…you have bigger problems."

             Rogue nodded, she supposed Kitty was right, but still…there was something in the back of her mind that said she couldn't move on from Remy, despite she'd told him she was over him, she was definitely far from over him, and despite the thought of being near him, or any other man, right now made her cringe, she wanted to be with him, and tell him so.

             "But you're not going to move on from him, are you?" Kitty asked.

             Rogue shook her head, "I can't…" she felt more tears coming, and wiped them away, "I hate him and I love him all at once and I want to move on, but I can't…" she sighed, "I've just been raped, and all I care about is tellin' him not to go…" she sighed.

             Kitty looked at him, "You sure you wanna see him right now?  I mean, I saw him when I sent him to his room, he looked pretty cut up, Rogue…You do too…"

             "I need to see him…" Rogue sighed she got up slowly, wincing in the pain, "and tell him I love him…"

             Kitty sighed, "I'm here for you if you need me…" she stood up also.

             Rogue drew a breath, trying to keep from sobbing again, Kitty's friendship touched her far more than it ever had before, she thrust herself into Kitty's arm, and hugged her fiercely, their cheeks slightly touching.

             Kitty rubbed Rogue's back.  "I'm ALWAYS here for you," she sighed.

             Rogue kissed Kitty's cheek, taking advantage that her powers would not harm her, "thanks," she murmured, "for always bein' there when I need you…you're…you're the only person alive I really…truly…trust," She feigned a smile, then left the room.

             She headed downstairs, Remy's room door was closed, she knocked, then opened it.  Remy was lying on his bed, asleep, his face tearstained.  She sighed, she'd hoped he'd be awake.  She entered the room, and closed the door behind herself, she walked over and sat on the bed beside him, looking down at him.  

Despite she'd been through considerably more than he had throughout their relationship, she couldn't bring herself to wake him through his troubled sleep.  She ran her bare fingers across his cheek lightly, a tear of her own dribbled down her cheek, and fell upon his own cheek, she wiped it away with her thumb, sighing.

She asked God, in her thoughts, why it couldn't have just worked out like it does for normal people.  It seemed that they were to receive ten times as many troubles as any other normal person on the planet.  Was this a punishment for being a genetic freak?  A mutant?  Or was it a punishment because they were never meant to be together?

Rogue stroked Remy's hair, relished its softness under her fingers.  She sighed and lay on the bed beside him, huddling up against him, resting her head upon his cheek, wishing then he would awaken and hold her.  But he didn't, he slept soundly, and she lay against him, relishing the warmth of his body, curling his hair between her slim bare fingers, and soon, she was drifting off too, into a deep, restful sleep.

When Remy LeBeau awoke, he was not alone in his room – nor in his bed.  The girl he loved draped over him, her head upon his chest, she slept more soundly than he'd ever seen her sleep, her fingers curled around his hair.  He brushed her hair away from her face, glancing down at her.  He didn't understand anymore.

She said she was over him, yet so obviously wasn't.  Now things were more complicated, he'd told Bella Donna he'd marry her – there were consequences.  He had to live up to the responsibility – just as he did with his child.  

             But now, the love of his life was in his arms – where she should have been all along.  He wrapped his arms around her, and for that few moments, everything in his life came together, he brushed his bare fingers against her cheek, no powers affecting either of them, just the contact of velvety skin under his callused fingers.  

             This is how it's meant to be, he thought sadly, me holding her like this, with nothing to keep us apart…

             But he knew that it would never last, it never did.  The few times he'd been privileged to hold her in this way, it had never lasted long.  And he wondered if he simply held on forever, would she want to pull away?

             Rogue's eyes fluttered open at his touch across her face, and she raised her head, looking at him, slightly confused as to where she was for a moment, then she looked at him, the memories of what she'd been through flashing back into her mind instantly, and tears spilled.

             He wiped her tears away, beginning to become dewy eyed himself, "don't cry," he murmured, "I can't bear to see you cry…"

             Rogue pressed her face against his chest, and sobbed into him, he rubbed her shoulders, stroked her hair, and let her, "I'm sorry," she let out a heart wrenching sob, that broke him into tears too.  "I'm so…sorry…"

             Remy blinked, tears spilling down the sides of his face from where he lay, "you got nothin' to be sorry for, chere," he whispered, "nothin' to be sorry for," he held her close, tears still pouring.

             "I made you cry…" she sobbed, looking at him, tears trickling.

             "Only 'cause I'm feelin' your pain," he sobbed, blinking more tears, "I'd rather die a million times…and burn in hell for all eternity, than to know you suffered a minute of what you did…" he cried.

             Rogue sat up, up, but the tears still came, she pressed her hand to her mouth looking down at him, he was a wreck.  She'd never seen him cry in this way, she'd seen a tear or two, but nothing like this, nothing so shattering.  He turned away from her, he couldn't bear to look at her anymore, and he couldn't bear her seeing his tears anymore.  

             He lay so exposed to her, and all it would take was one word to finalise her feelings for him, if she told him she didn't love him, he would surely die, and if he didn't, if his heartbreak didn't kill him, then he'd find another method of death, for he couldn't live an instant longer being so effected by the emotions he could no longer control over the girl he'd die for.

             "Remy, I'm not over you…" Rogue sobbed, "I thought I was…but…I can't be without you…and I need you with me…I need your arms, I need you to hold me, and tell me its gonna be alright…because if you don't…if you go with Bella Donna…I'll die…" Rogue looked at him, "my heart might just break and my chest will cave in and die, I know it sounds so dramatic…" she sobbed.

             Remy turned, tears pouring, he looked at her, "but its how I really feel," he said, in unison with her as she said the same words, "no I feel it too…" he murmured, he took her hands, "chere…I feel it too…don't you see…we are meant to be together…"

             Rogue fell into his arms crying, "we are…"


	6. Chapter 6: Labour of Love

Chapter 6: Labour of Love

             "I didn't want the temptation of it being there any longer…" Rogue sighed, she and Remy were sitting over coffee at 1am, talking, Rogue finally felt it was time to talk about her ordeal.  "The serum was just lying there…so I took all of it…swallowed it…then went out…I didn't even think about how weak it would make…my state of mind was so…" she wiped her tears, "I don't know what I was thinking…" she sighed.

             Remy reached over and held her hand, he sat opposite her at the kitchen table, watching her eyes as she spoke.  She'd been silent for some time, and he hadn't asked her to tell him, but she'd eventually said it was time she told him.

             "The guy…I'd seen him there before…" Rogue said, "and he seemed attracted to me…and I thought…I don't know what I was thinking…" she made a face, "I just…I was out of my mind, I think…I was so stressed…I…"

             "Take your time," Remy said softly.

             "He offered a drink – and I took it, then another…and I was just so…so mad at you that I kept taking it, thinking it would make me forget how angry I was at you…" Rogue looked away.  "It was some time later I realised somethin' wasn't quite right, and I was feeling…woozy…I guess I blacked out, and when I came too…he was there, on me…hurtin' me…" Rogue's eyes teared up more remembering it.  "It hurt so bad…and I tried to fight him off, he hit me and told me to stop…next thing I know, I was in there…alone…" Rogue sipped her coffee, a tear trickled into the cup.  "the guy took my money, my phone…I had to walk home…" she chewed her lip.

             Remy clenched his other fist, "if I ever see that guy I will fuckin' kill him…" he said, hostility in his voice, "I seriously will…"

             "You're no good to me in prison for murder, Remy," Rogue looked at him.

             "You want him to get away with it?"

             "No but…I don't wanna go chasing him and bringing it all into the open and having him charged…I don't want anyone else knowing – you and Kitty are the only ones I think I can even deal with knowing…"

             Remy looked at her, "You…need to tell the Professor about this…he can arrange some kind of counselling…or something…"

             "I'm fine," Rogue lied, she sipped her coffee, "women in America get raped every day – they go on to live full, healthy lives."

             "Chere, bein' raped can ruin your whole life…there are support groups, counselling, probably even websites for those women, I've seen all this on Ricki Lake…it really fucks them up…it's a life shattering heart breaking thing…" he said, "you should also maybe get checked out, as in medically…"

             "Medically?" Rogue looked at Remy worriedly.

             "Yes, medically," he said, "some guy been in you, don't know who the fuck he is, what if he had somethin'?  There no tellin' if he used a condom or not…probably not…you need to get checked out, maybe also have somethin' done to prevent a pregnancy?"

The thought of another pregnancy in the mansion seemed like it might be too much to handle.  Rogue looked down, "I just want to pretend like it never happened, Remy…" she sighed, "Just want to forget…"

             "Chere, you can't forget until you heal…" he gripped her hand firmly, looking at her, "I won't watch you bottle it up…I know it seems like I'm picking fights right now, but…I can't…I won't…stand by and let you just act like its okay and not take action…" he looked at her, "I'm your man, I have a say in this now…"

             Rogue looked at him, "never mind that, what are you going to do about Bella Donna," Rogue asked sullenly.  "You're forgetting you're engaged – again – to a woman, and this time she's six months pregnant.  And you're determined that me and you are supposed to be together, so you need to be straight with her – and tell her you love me and you are definitely NOT marrying her…ever."

             "I'll tell her that I've changed my mind, that it wouldn't work out," Remy assured, "I'll still take the baby, she won't be exiled from the Big Easy and everything will somehow work out…you don't have to be involved in the baby's life either if you don't want to be…"

             Rogue looked at him, "You sure you're ready to be a father?" she asked.

             "Chere, I'm not even sure if I'm mature enough to do my own laundry," he reminded, "but bein' a father isn't about bein' mature enough to handle it – it's about bein' responsible for your actions…and I am responsible for the pregnancy…and I will be a father, whether I don't know how to change a diaper or not…" he sighed.

             Rogue looked at him, "you'll be a good father, Remy…" she admitted, a soft tone to her voice, "I just always figured it'd be to my children instead of hers," she sighed.

             Remy smirked a little, "You wanna have kids with me?" he asked.

             "Not today," Rogue remarked, "Not even in this decade…but some day," she shrugged, "if we last that long."

             "I have a feeling we'll be together for an eternity…" he smirked a little, stroking her bare hand with his.

             "Remy…" a familiar voice rang out.

             Rogue and Remy both turned, Bella Donna was standing in the doorway, her hand on her large stomach, she looked flushed, and slightly pained, her hair mussed as if she'd just woken up, her eyes were slightly squinting

             "Belle, it's good that you're here, we need to talk," Remy drew a breath, deciding he needed to set everything straight – while Rogue was there, so that Rogue could see it would be well and truly over with him and Bella Donna.

             "No, we don't…Remy, I—" Bella Donna tried, but before she could get out another word edgewise, Remy interrupted quickly.

             "Me and Rogue are gonna be together, I can't marry you…" Remy said straightly, Rogue smiled a little at his forwardness.

             Bella Donna looked as if she might cry, she was gaping, looking at him, her eyes glassy, then she winced, her hand on her stomach, "Remy…"

             "I've made up my mind."

             Rogue frowned a little, there was something in Bella Donna's face that said it wasn't Remy's news that was bothering her, the girl was in obvious pain, and Rogue had guessed why before Bella Donna had a chance to even say it.

             "Remy…I'm going into labour…"

             "Labour?" Remy gaped, "You're six months pregnant!  You're not meant to give birth until September!" he gave it a second thought, just to make sure he was right.

             "I know that!" Bella Donna screamed at him.

"Okay, how do you know its labour, it could just be, I don't  know…gas or something…" Remy tried to reason.

"Remy, I'm having contractions!  Will you just get me to a hospital already!?" she demanded, she was breathing in a strange way, trying to deal with the contractions.

             Remy and Rogue looked at each other, Rogue got up, deciding to take action, since Remy seemed to be too shocked to even say anything, "I'll call an ambulance," she said, and headed for the phone.

             Remy felt a sudden rush of fear and apprehension fill his mind, his baby was about to be born – even if it was three months premature.  Within hours, he realised, he could be a father…and it terrified him.

The end…? (or is it ***wicked smile***)


End file.
